August Matthew Stucky Award: Steven Anderson

This was pretty much inevitable, really. Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church and the personal pastor of our award's namesake, recently gave a charming sermon subtly titled "Why I Hate Barak Obama". It should really have been titled "Why (faggots are evil) I (really hate fags) hate (fags: they're trying to rape me in my sleep) Barack (Sadddam Al Qaida Muslim Atheist Communist Fascist Fag-Lover) Obama (Oooh! I really feel dirty saying that name!)". It's a textbook example of paranoid uber-christian delusion. An example of his "teaching":

How are they multiplying? Do you not see that they're multiplying? Are you that blind? Have you noticed that there's more than there were last year and the year before, and the year before that? How are they multiplying? They're reproducing right? No, here's a biology lesson: they're not reproducers, they're recruiters! And you know who they're after? Your children. Remember you dropped off your kids last week? That's who they're after. You drop them off at some daycare, you drop them off at some school somewhere, you don't know where they're at. I'll tell you where they're at: they're being recruited by the sodomites. They're being molested by the sodomites... Because each sodomite recruits far more than one other sodomite because his whole life is about recruiting other sodomites, his whole life is about violating and hurting people and molesting 'em.

Sounds like sodomites are an awful lot like christian ministers.

Don McLeroy Doesn't Like What the Words Mean

Over at Dispatches, Ed links to an unbelievable mountain of stupid opinion piece in The Austin American-Statesman by the chairman of the Texas Board of Education, Don McLeroy. McLeroy has been smarting lately over wide-ranging condemnation of his efforts to modify the state science standards for Texas public schools in such a manner that creationists can sneak their doctrine into science classes without constitutional challenge.

I popped over to read it. It's mostly standard creo fair blowing all of the typical dog-whistles:

The controversy exists because evolutionists, led by academia's far-left, along with the secular elite opinion-makers, have decreed that questioning of evolution is not allowed, that it is only an attempt to inject religion or creationism into the classroom.

Yawn. Heard it before.

This line, however, caught my eye:

The first step is to define science in a way that is satisfactory to both sides.

Umm. OK... might I point out, hopefully without undue emphasis,

BULLSHIT!

A wise man once said "You don't have to respect both sides of an argument when one side is a load of crap." Creationists are not owed some sort of concession to their vapid theology insofar as how science is defined. Science is what is, and tough titties if that doesn't fit into your mythos. Scientists investigate and describe the natural world on its own terms, without the pesky interference of miracles and fairies and folklore. And what they do does not intrinsically have anything to do with your religion: any incompatability between the two is not the result of "left-wing secular" anything. It has to do with the fact that your belief system does not accurately describe reality.

Your religion has nothing to bring to the science table, so you have no say in how it's defined or conducted. Sorry, you lose.

Ted Haggard is Really Totally Un-Gayified

Old Ted "Buttocks-and-Meth" Haggard is back on the pulpit, apparently.

He gave a pair of sermons at a small church in Illinois where the pastor is an old friend of his.

Hey, another reason for me to dislike Illinois!

That people actually sat there and listened to this hypocritical jagoff just illustrates the depth of evangelical Christian stupidity. I love this part:

"There I was, 50 years old, a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things," he said. "But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade started to rage in my heart and mind."

No, Ted: there you were, a closeted gay man, loudly advocating venomous bigotry against other homosexuals, but you couldn't bury your own sexual nature any more than you can heal through prayer.

"There came a moment in my life when we were so alone and there was so much despair that I was suicidal," he said. "And I'd figured out how I was going to kill myself and rid the world of the horrible curse of Ted Haggard."

My ass you were going to kill yourself. If there's one characteristic that all con artists like you share, it's an unshakable belief (and a correct one, unfortunately) that there's always another mark just around the corner. I look forward to your next scandal, Teddy.

Sarah Palin: No Elaboration Needed

via HERB

Archbishop Dolan chimes in on Necedah Cult

Archbishop Timothy Dolan commented in his Sunday sermon on the Tammy Lewis case, in which Lewis and her "bishop", Alan Bushey, concealed the death of Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth for 2 months while they glommed on to her Social Security and annuity income. From the WTMJ website:

The District Attorney in Juneau County called the couple a cult. They're accused of using religion to commit fraud.

Alan Bushey and Tammy Lewis allegedly kept the body of a 90-year-old woman sitting on the toilet for two months, claiming God would bring her back to life.

Archbishop Dolan says he isn't familiar with the group, but he was saddened to hear what they're accused of.

"That's not even religion, that's a terrible distortion and corruption of religion to even call that part of the patrimony and tradition of the church," Dolan said.

Hmm. Taking advantage of someone's fear and credulity to avail yourself of their property. Promising immunity from death in exchange for prayer and financial support of the organization doing the promising.

No, the Church has never done that.

Nothing to see here, folks: move along.

Body of Dead Woman Found in Inhabited Home

Necedah, WI - According to press reports, police found the body of a 90-year old woman sitting on the toilet in her bathroom, where it had apparently been since March 4th. Sad, but not shocking, one might think initially. People who live alone and have few friends or relatives to check on them occasionally pass away and are not missed for a while.

Except that she didn't live alone. There were 3 other people in the house, and at least one other who knew she was dead.

Would you be terribly surprised to find out that these are batshit crazy deeply religious people?

Apparently, Tammy Davis, who calls herself "Sister Mary Bernadette", moved in with the elderly woman, Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth, some time within the last 2 years. They both belong to a Christian cult called the Order of the Divine Will, presided over by Alan Bushey (pronounced boo-SHAY), who calls himself "Bishop John Peter Bushey". Along with Lewis came her 2 children, a son and daughter now 11 and 15, respectively.

Some time in early March, Middlesworth collapsed in Lewis' arms while Lewis was helping the woman dress. Lewis, rather than calling 911, propped her (still breathing at this point) up on the toilet and called Bushey. Bushey told Lewis that Middleworth was under attack by demons, and that he had received signs from God that praying would save her, even bring her back to life if she died. So Lewis not only failed to get Middlesworth emergency medical attention, she let the corpse sit there in the barthroom for 2 months and forced her children to pray over it.

A gruesome story, certainly: those poor kids are going to have some serious issues to work through in the coming years (on top of those incurred by growing up in a fundamentalist household to begin with). But as always, this seems only the first shoe. The children are quoted as saying the following:

He [Lewis' son] said Bushey told him that if Middlesworth's death was discovered, the children would have to go to public schools and they would all have to get jobs because Middlesworth paid the bills.

Lewis' daughter told authorities that Middlesworth was the provider for their "religious community."

Ah. So. Elderly lady pays the bills for younger religious crazies. Elderly lady dies. Religious crazies conceal the death from the authorities, justifying their actions through religious craziness. Religious crazies thereby keep the financial pipe open.

I'm just waiting for the figures on how much they bilked this woman out of. You know it's coming. We've seen it before.

Mess in Ohio

When I first read about this story of a public school Bible brouhaha over on Ed Brayton's blog, I didn't think much of it: I assumed the teacher, John Freshwater, was just another creationist who thinks that his right to religious expression extends to using his position as a school teacher to impose his particular brand of fundamentalist tripe on other peoples' children.

Objectionable, of course: but hardly anything out of the ordinary for the Uber-Christian crowd. If anything, I thought that the school was over-reacting in telling him to remove his personal copy of the Bible from his desk during class. Having it on his desk would seem no more harmful to me than having a picture of a family member there, or any other personal effect.

Silly me. There's always another shoe waiting to drop with these people, isn't there? This just in from the planet WTF:

In a press release issued Tuesday afternoon, Superintendent Steve Short said, “The allegations against Mr. Freshwater are very serious. This is not about his personal Bible on his desktop. It is about the totality of his conduct.”

One of the complaints was that Freshwater used an electrostatic device to burn crosses onto students’ arms.

Now, color me intolerant, but I just think that's a mite over the top. These are 8th graders. And he's branding them?! This man should not just be disciplined. He should be fired and charged with assault. His name should be put on a public list of People You Want Nowhere Near Your Children. And as it seems, according to this article from the Columbus Dispatch, that the school knew last December about the branding and chose not to do anything about it, some heads on the admin side should roll, as well.

Of course, according to the WorldNetDaily, this is all just a case of discrimination against Christians. I guess Christian Fundamentalists have some hidden constitutional right to torture 14-year olds. Funny, my teachers at the religious schools I attended must have skipped over that amendment. Typical of those scheming atheist commie pinkos.

What a debacle. It will be darkly fascinating to see what develops from this. I can't imagine that with this popping up, that there aren't any more surprises to follow.

The Battle Over Florida Public School Science Standards

The vote on the new Florida science standards for public schools comes down today, and the religious wing-nuts have been busy flapping their arms in protest of the fact that the new standards use the word "evolution" (WARNING: that link leads to painful stupidity).

While it looks like the standards will pass, the language is likely to be changed to insert the words "scientific theory of" in from of every occurance of the word "evolution". So if the standard is proposed:

Evolution is the fundamental concept underlying the biological sciences.

The new version would be:

The scientific theory of evolution is the fundamental concept underlying the biological sciences.

Some ET proponents have complained that this compromise, in specifying the word "theory", will allow creationists to use the tired old "theory, not a fact" argument to perpetuate their fraud about the reality of evolution being debatable. I would argue that they would continue to do so anyway. It's not like they've abandoned the SLOT or moon-dust arguments, and those were blown to kingdom come a long time ago.

No, I'd say let the compromise go through if necessary, and concentrate on teaching the students the difference between the scientific and vernacular definitions of the word "theory". This kills two birds with one stone: evolution is presented as factual (as it should be), and any other theory that fundies might want to try to smear (e.g., Big Bang), is buttressed as well.

Update: it appears the revised standards have been approved, albeit narrowly. Welcome to the 20th century, Florida! only one more century to go, and you'll be caught up with South Carolina!

Now if we could just drag Wisconsin out of the Teddy Roosevelt era...

With Freinds Like These...

Somebody explain to me why we're allied with Saudi Arabia. These bastards take our money, and then do this to our citizens.

Jumped-up middle ages tyrants should not receive any aid or respect from this nation. I don't give a tinker's damn how much oil they have. We should cut all ties with these jackasses.

Update: Oh, and it's not any better in our new pet country, Iraq.