The Federal Bailout Plan: You think I Should Respond?

Just got this email out of the blue:

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SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

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Dunno, this sounds sort of familliar...

HT: Unqualified Offerings

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Update: the original source is actually Angry Bear.

Body of Dead Woman Found in Inhabited Home

Necedah, WI - According to press reports, police found the body of a 90-year old woman sitting on the toilet in her bathroom, where it had apparently been since March 4th. Sad, but not shocking, one might think initially. People who live alone and have few friends or relatives to check on them occasionally pass away and are not missed for a while.

Except that she didn't live alone. There were 3 other people in the house, and at least one other who knew she was dead.

Would you be terribly surprised to find out that these are batshit crazy deeply religious people?

Apparently, Tammy Davis, who calls herself "Sister Mary Bernadette", moved in with the elderly woman, Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth, some time within the last 2 years. They both belong to a Christian cult called the Order of the Divine Will, presided over by Alan Bushey (pronounced boo-SHAY), who calls himself "Bishop John Peter Bushey". Along with Lewis came her 2 children, a son and daughter now 11 and 15, respectively.

Some time in early March, Middlesworth collapsed in Lewis' arms while Lewis was helping the woman dress. Lewis, rather than calling 911, propped her (still breathing at this point) up on the toilet and called Bushey. Bushey told Lewis that Middleworth was under attack by demons, and that he had received signs from God that praying would save her, even bring her back to life if she died. So Lewis not only failed to get Middlesworth emergency medical attention, she let the corpse sit there in the barthroom for 2 months and forced her children to pray over it.

A gruesome story, certainly: those poor kids are going to have some serious issues to work through in the coming years (on top of those incurred by growing up in a fundamentalist household to begin with). But as always, this seems only the first shoe. The children are quoted as saying the following:

He [Lewis' son] said Bushey told him that if Middlesworth's death was discovered, the children would have to go to public schools and they would all have to get jobs because Middlesworth paid the bills.

Lewis' daughter told authorities that Middlesworth was the provider for their "religious community."

Ah. So. Elderly lady pays the bills for younger religious crazies. Elderly lady dies. Religious crazies conceal the death from the authorities, justifying their actions through religious craziness. Religious crazies thereby keep the financial pipe open.

I'm just waiting for the figures on how much they bilked this woman out of. You know it's coming. We've seen it before.