Tuesday, February 26, 2008

So What the Hell's a "Spidergrackle"?

Sooner or later, I'm sure someone's going to ask me about the name. It's nothing very clever or interesting, I'm afraid, but if you really want to know...


Once upon a time in the land of Yahoo, there lived a bunch of trolls. The trolls lived in message boards attached to the news of Yahoo, and fed off of each others' maladjusted personalities. Most of the message boards were full of bad trolls, spewing racist hatred, creationist propaganda, and endlessly recycled insults. No one liked them, and they didn't much like each other, but spewing insults made them happy, so there they stayed.

But there was a special section of the boards attached to the odd and amusing news, which was inhabited by a race of clever, fun loving trolls who liked to joke and make up dirty limericks. These trolls staked the Oddly Enough boards out as their territory, and viciously defended it from anyone who used terms like "RepubliTurds" or "DemoCraps", or people who typed all in CAPS, or posted religious fundamentalist malarkey.

And all were happy, for a time.

One of the things the trolls liked to do was make up silly names related to the news story the board was attached to. In 2003, a Canadian company announced that they had made goats which produced spider-silk in their milk. It was considered a tremendous advance in genetic engineering, but the trolls just thought it was a great source of humor. One of the trolls was quick, and created the ID "Spidergoat". Many jokes based on a Spiderman theme followed.

Then a few years later, a story was posted titled "Hostile Grackles Attack people in Houston". All of the trolls began modifying their names to incoerporate the word "grackle". "Yahilda" became "GrackenHilda", "Midnite_Thundar" became "Midnite_grackle", and, as you may have guessed, "Spidergoat" became "Spidergrackle".

Then one day, an evil, pansy-assed lawyer got flamed by the bad trolls on the news boards and threatened to sue the king of the land of Yahoo for mental anguish or some such bullshit, and the king had no choice but to evict all of the trolls from the kingdom. And the trolls were sad.

They wandered the interwebs for a few years, settling here and there in small groups, but nowhere were they as happy as they had been in Yahoo, so they faded away.

One troll, however, had become attached to his name, and opened a blog using it. And that, more or less, is the story. Don't think they'll be making a movie of it any time soon, do you?

Hey! Wake up!

No comments: